I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
