How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
