Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
