stop calling my apartment porn island.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
