What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
