I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
