Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
