hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
