Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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