heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
