This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
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