tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
