so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Apparently you make a good broom.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
