You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize