I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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