she was so not down for the gang bang
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
