party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
