I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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