i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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