wrigley field is MILF paradise
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Found your dick twin last night
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
