Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
