Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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