ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I could make wine with my vomit
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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