...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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