I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
