we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
