People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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