I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
