Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
