they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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