2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
