Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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