no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
