Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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