why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
did you just send me my own nude
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