I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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