i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
