Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
you inspire me to be a worse person
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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