He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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