He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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