ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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