My friends, they love my intelligence
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
