Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
