yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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