That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
