i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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