Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I got inside last night via doggy door
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
