We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
