So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
