Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Be still, my beating vagina.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
