i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
